| Current mood: |  depressed |
| Current music: | "Why"---Ayaka |
Hard to say goodbye
Grandpa Nick's funeral was yesterday and I tried not to cry. I had been spending a lot of time since Easter randomly breaking out in tears, so I wanted to try to say my final goodbyes without crying. But I ended up crying anyway, because it was just so painful to say that final goodbye to him. He played such an important part in my life and it's so hard to accept he's really gone.
I try not to be too superstitious, but I do believe dreams can carry important messages. I had a dream the day before the funeral, that Grandpa Nick was sitting on his back porch with Grandma Betty and me and I told my mom about it. She told me if I saw Grandpa Nick's face in the dream, it meant he came to say goodbye to me. And hearing that touched my heart, as if I was able to get the goodbye I wanted to recieve from him.
Since the funeral, the stone on my chest hasn't been so heavy... But I'm having a hard time picking myself back up completely. I repierced my ears as another symbol of getting stronger from this whole experience. That's about it...
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yoko_wind) wrote,
